11/07/2010 - 1224pm

wow...so fast 1 week pas already....

in one week time, me and my mum holiday at Hui San's house. haha we discharge on the same day on last monday. sooooo ngam eh...

I already see tabib... wahlaoooooo expensive douuuuu sei. one bottle medicine, RM380. he give me 5 bottle leh. aduiiii really suck blood. he say that my heart function now very poor so need to 'tiao yang' back.

he also advise me to try one rawatan from Japan. but it course RM38K. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! such a hugeeee amount. where we find that much amount?????? the procedure is, pay RM38K, then take some blood and kirim pergi Japan, then Japan there will screen my blood, if they can cure me, then they will send me the ubat loh, but if they cant cure me, the money they will refund back to me. T.T i am worried... where to find those money....

I am so jelous at Hui San bcos she have a good and rich husband. once his husband know she cant do any treatment jor, he direct bank in money to Japan there. hmmm... when will i get this big amount to cure my sick? ... just pray to God loh...

I very enjoy stay at Hui San house at kemuning utama for one week. both of us forget our problems for awhile. go see 'tua pek kong', we ate steam boat, chicken rice and bla bla bla....

when i see Hui San and her husband pray to Guan Ying, i feel soooo ashamed of myself. they pray very hard and macam sangat pro. me, know nothing much...

my leg now bengkak air... very xin ku.. and very easy lebam lebam. they say my skin tone tooo fair thats why the lebam lebam nampak sangat. and alot of red dot. i think is bcos of my platelets again... haiz..

tomoro goin to daycare check blood again. seriously, i hate hospital very much!!!! it suck!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope ming tian hui gen hao ba.. :)

05/07/2010 @12.09pm warm warm monday..

Monday...

day by day.....

i am still in the hospital... yesterday transfused 2 packet of red blood cells. In the evening my hands and leg got bintik bintik merah come out,,,so i guess is my platelets low again loh..

in the next day which is today justnw morning, doc say transfused me platelets due to toooooooo many bintik2 merah n my gum is bleeding while brush my teeth justnw.

God God God, pleaseeeeeeeee give me a MIRACLE....

Kinda not really sad, not really moody, not really happy but errrr just normal.

Trying to forget that im sick.

trying................(pretend)

day b4 yesterday am so happy leh. my net(mig33) friends visited me. OMG! i nvr tot that i will meet net friends andddd in hospital lagi.haha funny funny. I was like, errrrrrrr am i dreaming??lol!!!

then my college friend Aril and Kim also visited me. Aril is my first time meet him. hahaha he took pharmacy course de. we knw each othr through facebook. he is very handsome(abit short). hehe nowonder Ying Chinn lenglui paktor with him la. lengzai malay boy. he come last minute de leh. we chat on msn when he knw im in hospital ampang he directly say want come to visit me and bring Kim along.hahaha very miss kim. she helps me alot. that day just like 'ketawa dalam duka'. really, may God bless them always.

we chit chat alot, asking her about other roommates news. there are soooooooooo sooooo many things happened among them... in one day many things can happened. scary movie...huhu

Currently im drinking one kind of veges sup which called ' burdock sup or niu bang' which have burdock root, white carrot, white carrot leaves, carrot and 2 slices of dried black mushroom which alot of ppl who got the last stage of cancer drink it and got remission. i drink it b4 but at that time i did not add in the mushroom bcos at that time im having my chemotherapy. seems now no more therapy for me, so, yeah, try my luck. hopefully it can helps me.

wow! my mum goin to buy 1 new hp for me. touchberry. i know she love me and trying to fulfilled all of my wishes. ;'( she work so hard for me. everyday rushing to hospital and bck home to cook for me. I am very happy that i got such a loving mother. everyday pray to God besides give me back my health and always look after my parents and everyone that very care about me.

I feel very touch when know ah ting de wishes on his birthday is want me get well. very happy and lucky have such a good friend that nvr forget friends who in pain. some ppl only say, i will pray for u, but in fact, he/she did nothing. but anyway, i understand. that is the way to show his/her concern at me. :)

every morning once open eyes, will say thank you God for still give me a chance to wake up.

so, maybe tomoro will discharge loh... hope ming tian hui gen hao ~! jia you !!!!!

God bless.

Amituofuo.

3/7/2010

hello...

yeah my report is out, and my cancer cell relapse up to 20%. and theres no more treatment for me. means, i am no longer alive.

I am veeeery scared. scare die... yeah , is there really a ghost? is Heaven and Hell really exist?

I already told almost all of my good friends, but seems they more sad then me eh?
esp Ting, i know he very care and appreciate this friendship. I still remember the crazy days we had together when study in SMTM. walking from sch to bus stop, share happy and sad, OMG.. :'(

although theres no more treatment i can do, but we will try some alternative way. maybe Chinese meditation? drink more burdock vege sup? .....

Yes la ofcoz im sad. if u noe u gonna die, will u happy?
everythings already happened. I also cant do anything.
what i can do is pray to God eeveryday, and ask He give me back my health so that i can take care and balas jasa baik whoever that really cares and love me.

maybe theres a miracle? ermm.. HOPE.

i kept seek for the forgiveness from my friends, so that i wont hutang anyone anymore.

eh, if u(pee) got read my blog, i really wanted to tell u that i really didn't ruin up u and yr so called 'friends' relationship. yes i dont want to ungkit hal lama, but i just want to make it clear. ok. settle. sorry ah for everything. kosong kosong.


I am very happy that everyone very care about me, and my net friend from mig33 mis mim and her twin is coming to visit me. friends and family all gave me alot of support. will not give up. and i dont want to die in young age.

blablabla... what am i typing.................................. blur................................
may tomoro bttr then today.

God bless.

blues day...

Again...

I was admitted to hospital again due to my FBC low...

Doc said that maybe is bcos my bone marrow dry, or ..... hmmmm

what ever happend, just hope tomoro which is on the 29.06.2010/ Tuesday will make a bone marrow test... HOPEFULLY, the result is ok. Ami TuoFuo!

i admitted to ward 8B.. I don't knw since when this ward opened, but what can i see is theres alot of patient with diff type of cancer.. but most of them is blood disease and some of them is transplant de...

Got 1 big jiejie beside me, she is 30, and she got skin cancer. I nvr heard skin cancer b4, so that is ^^kinda new for me. her skin got some raches, but then, she is a very happy go lucky type. and, seriously, she's cute!!

the aunty infront of me if not mistaken she got talesimia. she look old, but aha... she is only 44 my mum called her MAK CIK. omg..ahaha..

Kinda blur and don't know how to describe how i feel now. family and friends were worried about me. They gave me support but sometimes their support become my very heavy STRESS. God, i really really feel heavy on my shoulder. what i can do is just pray to Ru Rai Fuo Zu and Guan Yim. Hopefully everything gonna be ok.

Gues wht, Hui San also admitted to hospital. really me and her got YUAN FAN (jodoh). last year we chemo together, transplant together, and now, yeah..aha...
she no guai. she curi makan roti canai. haih.. this young lady dunno how to say. she just dont feel contented what she have. lazy to wear mask and eat whatever she like. hmm really not fair for me. really all this already TAKDIR.

I also lazy to kpoh about her, what i know is HOPE FOR THE GOOD. may God bless me, and everyone.

Promise to myself will take a good diet and rest time after this. Amituofuo.

05/05/2010@12.15am

When i just viewed my friends wall post at mig33 and found his blog so called 'merchant'blog page then i just realize already a month i didnt visit my blog.

Ahaha... Well, theres nothing much and interesting happened on the pas april 2010.. I spend my times with sooo many dvds and others useless things.

I do sauna, and I don't exercise because i'm lazy.. and I so 'steal-steal' eat keropok wor..hahaha beh tahan.. eat abit.. God bless it wont harm me.heh

Ouhhhh.. Mothers day is coming~!!!!!! I really wonder what should I gave to my mum this year...

last year i bake a cake + fried chicken drumsticks + boiled eggs.
I know she is super touched.

I bake that cake with my own hand without machine. and at that time, I am weak because jst finished my second chemotherapy.

ahaha... as long as she happy..I don't mind.

haaa i know..ugly..but it's fulllll of love mkey..hahaha

This year for sure cannot bake cake anymore.
Her sugar level is damn high... hrm.. maybe a bottle of paper stars? ermmm ..

Anyway, darn! superrrrr miss my friends!!! And I hope all of them is always ok and blessed. ahaha.. shall stop at here..

May God bless everyone.

chiaoww!!

01/04/2010 @ 1.06pm

HaHaHaHa~!!

Not today.. But tomoro is my birthday~!!!!!! Happy Birthday to myself! hehe

I don't feel happy because i scare i got no chance to celebrate my birthday next year..OUCH!!! touch wood!!!!!

Wishes is wanted to get well soon and the illness wont come back to me anymore, 4ever.

May God give me a good health and wealth.

Time go so fast... and I am really speechless now. Only hope+pray to get a good health. what also don't want, I only want my life. hmmph..

Last but not leat, Happy Birthday Michelle!!!!!! Ga yao!!!!!^^

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy bithday to Michelle,
Happy birthday to me.

poem time... 31/03/2010@12.11pm

Hide The Hurt
I didn’t want to admit it
it was easier to lie
to hide the hurt and emptiness
to smile instead of cry
I didn’t want to face the fact
my life is full of pain
as I long to stop my bleeding heart
and smile once again
I didn’t want to face the fact
I cannot spread my wings
for my happiness has melted into tears and other things.....








A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -




You...
~by me myself mhkn~




Not holding you in my arms is tearing me apart.
Being away is something I never imagined from the start.
I never thought we'd fall in love, so mad.
I never realized life without you would be so bad.
The gentle reassurance in your hand
led me away to a make-believe land.
Now my heart can't resist, but to yearn for your warmly embraced kiss.
And being with you is something I miss.
The things I'd give to have you in my arms -
To just hold you close and protect you from harm.
They said it will never work because of our age;
To them my love for you was just a phase.
When they came in our world and tore it apart,
It soon became a broken-promise land of the heart.
They don't know what we've been through,
How much you love me and I love you.
This can't be over; we're still not through.
There's so much we haven't shared - so much we promised to do.
I don't know how to hide my love enough so it doesn't show.
I can't hold back and refuse to let go.
If they only knew how you made me feel,
With all the problems you helped me deal.
How you taught me I was much more than I had ever thought -
All of the Joy, Happiness, and Love to me you brought.
You showed me I was beautiful outside and in,
And showed me true love time and time again.
One day I will return to you all you have given me,
In some shape or form; soon you'll see.
Send a message to my heart; promise me we will never part.
One day we will be able to be together every day,
And we won't have to worry what they say.
So when the time comes, promise me you'll take my hand and be with me
forever as long as we can.

happy birthday afifi..28/03/2010@8.47am

hello fella blogger..

it's been a while i dont update my blog.. why? bcos i am LAZY to online. I busy with my dvds. doraemon. lol..yeah.. everyday watch doraemon. sometimes live in a fantasy world more warm and happy then reality.. yeah its true.

I've done my bone marrow test last thursday.. Thank God i don't feel the pain. but the result will comin out comin next two week. pray to God that my result will be just very fine. :)

Today is Afifi birthday. ouwh! I admire him since i'm in secondary school. hahahaha happy birthday watermelon.. miss the old day of us so much. may God bless u always and success always n the most important is got a good health and wealth...

Tell me It's real by K-Ci &jojo
Are you for real
like how i feel
can we share a love
to last forever
and if so
let me know

Song:

(Chorus)
Tell me its real
this feelin that we feel
tell me that its real
don't let love come just, to pass us by
Try, is all we have to do
its up to me and you
to make this special love, last forever more


Baby you told me that you loved me and you'd never leave my side
to the bitter end, through the thick and thin
you promised me baby that you wasn't goin anywhere
baby keep it real, let me know just how you feel

(Chorus)
Tell me its real
this feelin that we feel
tell me that its real
don't let love come just, to pass us by
Try, is all we have to do
its up to me and you
to make this special love, last forever more

(Chorus)

I can't explain the way you made me feel, everytime that you told me that you
loved me
and you know you did, too many times
just when i thought that love could never be a part of me
thats when you came along, and showed me happiness
baby you are the best, i think you're different from the rest
and i really love ya

(Chorus)
Tell me its real
this feelin that we feel
tell me that its real
don't let love come just, to pass us by
Try, is all we have to do
its up to me and you
to make this special love, last forever more

Tell me its real
this feelin that we feel
tell me that its real
don't let love come just, to pass us by
(you gotta)
Try, is all we have to do
its up to me and you
to make this special love, last forever more

Tell me its real
(do you really love me)
this feelin that we feel
(do you really care)
tell me that its real
(you promised that you'd never leave my side)
don't let love come just, to pass us by
(you promised that you'd always be there)
Try, is all we have to do
(is all we have to do)
its up to me and you
to make this special love, last forever more

Tell me its real
(i'll be there for you)
this feelin that we feel
(you be there for me, sweetheart)
tell me that its real
(i thought that we were meant to be, for eternity, thought you loved me baby)
don't let love come just, to pass us by
Try, is all we have to do
(mama told me told me so, boy you just don't know, anything about love)
its up to me and you
to make this special love, last forever more
(and you and i were meant to be, and you would know, i was sure by the end of
this song)

Isn't that song nice?hehe my mood is soooo down this few days. yes! I am scared facing my BMA result next two week. I'm out of control, and being so rude this few days. but i dont mean it. I know what i did very wrong and hurt my mum so much. I am soooooo sorry for it. hmmph... no mood....

tomoro earth day!!! so together off the light just for only 1hour.. will u? well i surely will. haa..time pas so fast...remember last year earth day, i were still in the ICU bcos of infection . urghhh i dont want it happend anymore. its really suck n pain. everyone crying for me. i dont want it happend anymore. and very2 thank God, I am still here till today after went truth sooo many hardness(feng feng yu yu).:)


Love life always and always enjoy the time we have. TC.. n God Bless..

midnight!! 12.40am, 18/03/2010

Gooood morning !!

Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning to u~!! ahaha..

I can't sleep!!!! I don't on my msn cuz I'm kinda 50-50 mood now.. got no idea how to 'ACT' happy when someone pvt me.hehe what a boring nite. listen to some nice song. Jiwaku telah pergi by Anang' very nice malay song.. I suke.hehe a boring nite and a little sad nite. how I wish 3943 is here to talk with me, share my mood. Ouch! Crazy~! lol!!!

I can't sleep. I am sleepy but I don't feel wanted to sleep..huh??? how?

Jstnw posted a short video about love life廣告完整版 in my facebook. I'm happy that i got some feedback from my friends, cousin and my aunt.
Don't worry ppl, I'm always trying be strong and never give up because I love my life^^



wo yao jian qiang, wo yao kai xin, jia you ~!!!!!!!

17/03/2010@12.37pm

A very good morning...

Yesterday I was so tired.. my mummy felt sick.. She almost unconscious on the roadside yesterday. I was so shock when one of my friend that goin back to hospital for check up send my mummy bck to home. i was taking care of her one day. and me myself condition also not so well but i'm trying my best to take care of her.

Set the alarm 4pm,10pm and 4am to make sure she take medicine. Hope God will always guide me. I what so ever also don't want. I just want have a good health and my family all were safe and healthy. Thats all.

My last checking at hospital, my blood count were ok. platelete although still low but it seems increase abit. And i'm happy with it. it shows the Miki Prunes that i take really works.

I am very emo for these few days. Because one of my friend pas away. I understand why she pas away. Is bcos she decide to give up and stop chemotherapy due to her age already 60yrs old.her body not strong enough. I was sad. I am work so hard to ask her go for the chemotherapy last year. Because, for me, if she go for chemotherapy, atleast there are still a hope there. If she don't, this will happened. Die. I can understand why she choose to stop chemotherapy, is bcos she goes for three cycle chemotherapy before but she is so suffered and dangerous. my mum safe her life for three times. Because her child all doesn't know how to take care a old lady bcos they come from a rich background. She is a kind hearted lady. But she is a very emo lady. complain this complain that about the hospital and must eat those high class foods. lol. Alot of the patients and staff nurse don't like her. But hey, please try to understand. She is only a old aunty and she is rich always get what she wanted. Suddenly get cancer. we should understand her feelings. But, she is not here anymore. hope she R.I.P. This is what we said, no matter how rich are you, you can't buy your health with money.

Last week i read news paper. Saw that so many successful teenage in their SPM. I felt happy for them. But theres few of them unlucky. got 9A, 8A, but already pas away because accident, cancer, and some of them is OKU. I just realize that, God is always very fair. theres no one is one hundred percent perfect. clever, but OKU. clever, but pas away. To those is a genius,rich and success please always be thankful that u r so lucky. Because we don't know what will happened tomoro.


Remember when i took my result before. Go take when lunch time. that time i still work as a general clerk in a small office. shocked with my result. not so excellent but, still ok. My target Bahasa Melayu n Science get A'1. Unfortunately my target English, Application Computer in Business, Accounting, Moral and othr result not what i expected. I got B'3.EXCEPT my mathematics.hahahaha Ppl said chinese should be ok in math but i terbalik. good in BM but get 8 for my math.lol! really spoil my SPM cert math sub. result ok but cant continue study. because family background was poor. i work in a big company in miri for one yr. beside that, i work so hard to apply at spa.gov which working with the goverment. I know the salary was small but hey, plan and look for future.not now.And very hard for a chinese to apply for it. ya, our so call satu malaysia but most 80% is malay kena.


BUT, usaha tangga kejayaan.haha first, i got a lttr go for the immigration interview, hmmmm result is GAGAL due to I don't know goverment interview not like the private sector interview.askin about sejarah, this and that.haha after two month, I am lucky enough. I receive a lttr go for a interview Penolong Pegawai Kesihatan Alam Persekitaran. This time I am very ready for it. I pas the exam and the interview. They ask me to act as a penceramah kaki tanagn dan mulut.OMG!!!! so soo sooo malu but, yeah I want it.so i do it. although when acting, my body were shaking.grrr grrr...haha after 6week, yeay! i made it! but with the condition i have to further study for three yrs b4 work but all sponsored by the jabatan kesihatan malaysia. amazing!!! My dream want to further study came true n its free and wow!! i got the allowance every month. And I'm the only chinese and the only female wakil miri. Proud enough uh?hehe but,................................... yeah........ the happiness not last forever. I only study for one week n stay in cheras one month. but i'm happy.i'm happy to meet alot of new friends. If God give me a chance, ofcoz i will continue my study.but if compare to health and study, i choose my health ofcoz.hehe


If i'm always the lucky one, i pray and hope that I will be lucky for one more time to recover from leukemia a.s.a.p.



I'm tired.... till then... chiao!!!!

11/03/2010@11.03am

yo! good day la~!

It's Thursday ppl ~!!!!!!!

tell u what, tomoro, i'm goin bck to hospital for blood count checking. But this time not at daycare Transplant, but at second floor.. which, alooooooooooooot of ppl goin there. so, I got to go to the hospital by 7am!!!!! urghhh!!!! i hate it!!!!! i hate wake up early in the morning, and i hate HOSPITAL !!!!


On the 25th March just take bone marrow test. that day is my mistake.i tot on this monday.heheh.. May God bless me always~

ohh look at my breakfast + lunch today!!

Kuih Tepung S/B. ahaha dunno wht name is this. my mum cook de. tepung jagung + abit salt. errr not abit.but many.superrr salty. -.-"""" I don't complain much cuz I appreciate what my mum cook for me. (thou in heart always complain) LOLLLL!!! shhh!



cucumber with egg.



Sayur Sawi. thou I don't like it.but, i want healthy!!!! Eat niaa!!!



And as usual!!!! barley!!!!!

I keep busy watchin dvd. wow..pecah record liao loh.. I know la it's not good watch till midnight. But horh...I'm out of control aso..hehehe

my family support me 3 type of supplement food which veery expensive. 1 is MIKI Prunes which i take it twice a day. wahh tis very jialat. 1bottle will finish in 1week time. sudah la expensive sikit lagi. haish... then, MIKI goats' milk i take it 2 tablets a day.like sweet de.. and MIKI protein. aiyurrrrrr i beh tahan this 1. the smell n taste,OMG. beh tahan.. but i got to take it also. moneyyyy lai de leh!!! all total up, nearly 1K.. hmmm xin tong shi wo le.. they also didnt eat so expensive de supplement food leh.. :(( Hopefully all tis worth it. :) hope God will gv me a healthy body back, then i will work hard and take care of everyone who cares me and love me. i promise it!!!!

hrmm.... what should i do after this uh?hmmm watch dvd AGAIN... haish.. tonite hopefully can sleep early.bcoz tomoro goin to wake up early. and hopefully blood count will cantik cantik.. esp. my plateletes. always low...hmmm... ok laa.... i want continue eat le... BBL... may God bless all of the livin things in this world n our earth. Amituofuo.^^

i am nobody nobody but me ~ ❤ 07/03/2010@12.07pm

G00d day world ~~~!!

Another Sunday ~~

Well why i dont update my blog yesterday? bcos ......... I'M TOO LAZY !!!! hahaha =P nothing happened much yesterday. whole day watching dvd... hehe

Well well well... i woke up about 11am.. lol!!! i slept late yesterday. yeah thats why woke up so late. let's see my breakfast+lunch today. the menu was super healthy but will super no appetite cuz very 'qing tan'.

urghh..this is it...



steam kepala ikan. my favourite fish part.lol! (but eeeveryday eat fish fish fish.siennnzzz >.<"")

don't knw this bean mia name. I request to my mum 'rebus' it nia. without oil n salt. Healthy enough uhh?heehe

ABC sup .. but tis, AB sup only bcos C lost... no onion. I didn't eat chicken now so i can't eat onion, garlic and othrs vege that kills bacteria. will harm me. so... those who vegetarian, make sure do not take onion n garlic k...



abit rice..



Anddd finallyyyyy, a packet of Barley. This few days very hot. eeevery day drink barley till sien...

Hrmm.. today nothing special..so far so good. every days DVDs.... just bought new dvd yesterday... bored dao~~~~~~

just like livin in a jail. can't go anywhere. don't knw whats happening out there. that is so sakai.. but sooo nyaman become a 'mam' at home. I rather become a maid them a 'mam' sitting goyang kaki.urghhh!!!! sufferin!!! like 'fai chai(dead wood)'.


To those always don't appreciate what u have and kept complaining ohhh why my life is full of stress.ohhh why im poor. then u are really stupid jerk noob noob noob!!!!! U see, nothing important then a good health. have a good health, everything can be settle slowly one by one. No money? work lah!! no work?duhh find 1 lah! even go petronas pump minyak, go kopi-tiam wash plates, supermarket become a cashier also a job what.. also got salary what..!! what??? u shy? STUPID! thats a job! not rob and steal what to shy at??? Salary small?? aduhhh bttr then u doin nothing at home one cents also didn't get.wake up!!! mature abit! face,put aside lah..dont give thousand of reason. just admit it U R LAZY!!!

Theres no one livin in this world without STRESS EXCEPT a dead body. always Thank God what u have and a precious good health. maybe u will say it's easy to say but hard to do.but if u r at my place, then u will know what i mean but then, it's too late to regret. :))

Last but not least, may God bless everyone in this world, not only livin thing but ouch!!!!!!! our earth!!!!

Ardios!!!

05/03/2010@2.10pm

hah.. what a day...

just back frm hospital justnw.. omg... super bad smell that ubat.. this one...

Super hard to suck it.. :(( kept wanna vomit.. urgh...

ohh yeah.. yesterday met bck my old fwen..knw each othr since 2008 i think. erggh ya yes my ex..lol!!! but anyway, we stay as fwen..bcos i dont want talk anything more then a friend in mean while. hehex.. he is nice n notty. but who cares. normal person.lol!!!

OMG!!! my seaweed finished... orh.. i super like to eat seaweed. i can finish 1 packet within 1hr..lol!!! buy in kl sooo cheap..RM5++ only..if buy in srwk, sure RM9++. got a hug different. but i cant take so much cuz it still considerate as a 'junk food'. :)

im sooo scare... :(( next friday got to do bone marrow test.. really scared... i trying to not think negatively but, i failed to do so. i'm out of control, i'm goin crazy.. am speechless... May God bless me and everyone always to get a good health and wealth always. Forgive us if we did wrongly, show us the right way,Pls bright up our days. Amituofuo. :)

We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique.~Benjamin Jowett~

04/03/2010@12.44pm

wahhhhhhhh!!!! super sLeepy ah~

Just back from hospital.. next week back to recheck again my blood count cuz on next friday wanna go for bone marrow test leh...wuwuwuw.. scare sei me...>.<"" today hb-11.6, platelete-24(very low) and wbc-2.8. hrmm..hopefully everything gonna be oki^^


Yesterday got one sohai come msg me in fb. zzzzzzzzz really muo ming qi miao. say me ruin up he n his fren de friendship.and say me kacau his bro la, say me pls dont kacau him liao. wahlaoo...i say yun wong, he say only i knw n say i dont dare to admit it. say me childish, errrrrr scary, jerk n so so on... i can say that, yes I'm childish. So r u? can u go truth all the hardness i goes truth when i got cancer? can u?naaah belum tentu u can. do u think a CHILDISH can goes truth these all n the treatment? lol! i don't angry thou i super sad, becoz chi shi meowwwWWww.

I hereby, curse those who TUDUH me macam2x will get the 10x bad karma either on yrself or at yr family members.

u think i too free n now sick still go add my dosa meh? really no brain n uneducated. What i act innocent? is really i didnt did it leh. want admit how? i protect myself also say innocent? lol! UNEDUCATED.

u cheated me what n what, suan. I suan liao. is my fault because no open eyes big big in choose fren. i believe in KARMA. let God settle u. together with me so long d u still dont knw im a how de ppl? really got tat bad ma? if for u yes, u yrself mia taste also like shit la bcos choose me.lol!!!!!! this is a lesson for me. suan.really suan. zhong zi, dont senang2x come msg me in fb n scold n tuduh me tis n tat. I also nvr think to want kacau u pun. who u think u r want me kacau u?lol!!! wake up man!!!! get a life!!!! u enjoying with yr friends tats wht u call life?lol! that is bullshit n wasting time n not a life larh! I'm childish but u more then child-dishes. LMAO! i always ere?no life? if im not sick u think i will got time in internet sit infront of pc nothing to do? LOL!!! bcos im sick so u let me win? thanks! u sokind hearted larh.haha I dont curse u.but u will get the karma. suan.. really suan le... to know u n trust on u, is me unlucky n u unlucky.lol!

and, pls remember, i got no time go ruin u n yr zhu peng gou you friendship lah.... i'm not that crazy n wasting time. n thats y i curse who ever makes the rumours get 10x the karma. either u yrself or anyone of yr zhu peng gou you make story saying me ruin up u ppl de friendship.. :) yao wo zuo chou ren,ker yi, butttt yao wo chi shi mao, sorry. da shi wo, i also wont admit. as my princip, I DONT KACAU U, U DONT KACAU ME. remember that, u sohai.^^

huh....shu fuk sai...hehex no place lepas geram.... lepas at blog also oki liao... sui ran,tis time chi shi mao le,but, I n God know oki liao de. will got karma. as long as that sohai feel happy with those 'fitnah', go ahead. wo zai hu ni,bu dai biao u can pijak my kepala. . After tis, u alive or dead, not my problem anymore.. hao laaa...wo yao oi oi sia... May God bless all and pls decrease those cruel minded ppl in this world. have a nice day~ chiao!!!!

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

~Wayne Dyer~

03/03/2010@1.01pm

halloooo~

hahax~


mood veli good wor today.. just finished watch 'Down with Love' act by Jerry Yan and Ella. hahaha sipek cute lark tis movie..very like it and the song was nice nice~ hehex... when laa i can find my true love ?~~~~ auww.. LOL!!!!!

As usual orh..vei veli hot... hot day.. make me feel vli sleepy and emo. haha i got a friend name 'pighead' recently always emo leh..haiz.. dunno wht happend to him also. sooo angry these days.. but justnw got msn with him. i'm glad he is ok now wor...call me old aunty sumore.. =.=!!!swt
hahaha

tomoro wanna back hospital fuk chan.. hopefully my platelete is ok now..dont want transfuse ler...vli painfull if kena cucuk u noe?.. ish ish

oh yaa...on the 1st march ,which is two days ago is my beloved uncle birthday !!!!! wow !!! my yi-gor and his bestfriend heng tai all make him a surprise party leh.. sure he sipek gan dong de..how sad i can't join them =(~ me and my uncle pict.. lol!!! 2yrs ago..hahahaha

i miss my brother~~~~ yi gor~~~~~ i want u knw, me veli syg u de~~~~ can b yr sister,is really my luck~~~ i love you ~~~ but horh, i wont say it in real life with him de..hahahah so shy neh...n i veli love my papa,mama,jiejie, xiao ah yi, yii ling nephew, da jiu(my lovely uncle) and my friends~~ iris~ ting ~ my kai gor(johny ku)~ my kai jie(phoebe lye) ~ i veli love u all~ when im sick, u all nvr gv up on me~ i can baru can feel wht i 'mai yuan' frm im a kid till b4 that i nvr feel family love.but now, i really can feel it le... and mama~~~ xin ku ni le~~~ i knw i veli pi qi bu hao~ but deep in my heart, wo hen ai ni de mama~~~~~~~ hahax... i really want say it face to face to them.. but face not that tebal yet wor.. T_T and you..... i still veli love u... who?????????? doink..boh lang..LOL!!!


oh God, please help me look after my family, friends, enemies, and everyone in this world.Pls guide them in doing everything. Pls forgive them if they did wrong and pls show them to the right way. Give us a good health and wealth always. Amituofuo.

why should i pray for my enemies? because, sometimes is bttr to give and take. My mouth say hate hate hate, but actually, deep inside my heart, no hate de... actually enemieshelp us to grew up u noe.. we should thank them n forgive them. ^^ dui ma?hehe


oki laa...chiao!!!!!



Forever may it remain that way. And may God bless these now-found souls.
~Robert D. Ballard ~

27/02/2010@11.50am

Good morning !!!^^ Wahhh...sipek soii... baru online irc, kua tiok gui!! Tat fei zhu online in irc wor..lol!!! c tiok my nick on le,direct say want off liao la..lol!! mou tam fei lui! really sot.. as what i said, really no gugu de this guy. hahax Why i hate this guy from day to day? Because too hurt too deep liao loh... suuuper duper selfish. i cannot friend with three fellows that he hate, but horh, he can friend with those i hate and those betray me wor?.. wahlaooo.... superrr kek sim..nvm nvm.. no love,wont die also..^^ i dont want love love love le..all lie de.. let it come itself.suan liao. ngo yiu chip chip dai dai mong gei li gor sui yan. en en...wo ker yi de. Any somehow, bf is myself choose de.cant blame anyone.Myself pi qi also very no good maa.but jelousy means love.kekeke But dont know how to tell mama jek. hrmm... let it be laa.. wait next time jst tell her, ma, wo gen na ger ren fen shou liao.ish ishhh who ask myself sooo confident then go tell my mum about him. sendiri cari mafan de.. :(( Bikin malu..



Anyway.......

My breakfast+lunch... white porridge with chai xin. Got abit caugh aa..because weather supeerrrr hot hot hot !!! so eat simple abit.hehex boh nice but still can go in my stomach thou I no appetite to eat.. keke Hope everyone doing just fine today. May God bless all the ppl in this world. ^^ I want brush my teeth le.. keke justnw too keksim until forgot brush my teeth tim..keke shagua.. BBL. :)

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.

~Corita Kent~

25/02/2010@12.34pm

hahax..new day woh..

but...very sLeepy ah...

wuwuwuw... Feb 2010 gonna end soon.. >.<"" time go so fast.. everything will become a memory.. Coming March I'm gonna very very very and very busy. Going in and out hospital, bone marrow test... GrrrrRrr.. scare si me.. Hope and pray to God, may the coming days will be blessed and all in good. ^^ Really miss my family. I miss my yi gor(2nd bro), my papa, my taikor(1st bro), my nephew, aunt, uncle, and all. I just realized that family is really important in achieve everything. Well, other family members will betray their own family members or not i don't know, but for 101% sure my family wont. I love them. May God bless them always ~ wo shen meh dou bu yao, wo bu yao $$$, wo ye ker yi bu yao ai qing(ai qing shi yi ger hen fan nao de dong xi. dan ni tian mi de shi hou, the world is yours,but dan ni ai qing shi bai le, zhen de,zhen de hen tong ku her shang xin ying wei ni zuo de yi qie dou shi bai fei de. ai ren hui pao qi ni,ker shi jia ren jiu bu hui loh..^^ Hence, hai shi bu yao tan lian ai.dang yuan fen lai le,chai lai shuo ba.), wo only want have a good health and yi jia ren tuan yuan & her qi,na jiu ok le..^^

There are two things to aim at in life: first,
to get what you want; and after that, to enjoyit.
Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
~~Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts, 1931~